In this day and age, we are aware that many of our intimate relationships are struggling and are in jeopardy. Therefore, the age old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” is equally relevant today as it was when the saying was originally coined.
According to Stats Canada, approximately 38 % of marriages in Canada end in divorce (over a thirty year period). What preventative measure can young couples apply to their relationships that will ensure their stability and longevity?
There are three common relationship deal breakers – Compromise, Competition and Complaints which all contribute to conflict in relationships. Unto themselves, these interactions all sound relatively positive. Let’s examine them more carefully in the context of intimate relationships.

1. Compromise is essentially when two people settle for less than what they really want. For example, a couple decides that they would like to go out to a movie. The wife would really like to see a particular movie but learns that her husband has no interest in watching it. He suggests a movie which his wife has no interest in watching. In the name of compromise, they end up attending a third choice which neither really wants to view. Instead of compromising, the couple could use a more effective approach called negotiating which produces a win/win situation. The couple decides to attend the movie which the woman wants to see one week, and the following week, they go to the movie the husband wants to see.
2. Competition is very much a part of our every day, capitalistic society. We all need to know how to compete in order to function in our society. People on a daily basis are competing for jobs, opportunities, recognition, etc.  However, competition within our intimate relationships can potentially wreak havoc between couples since the more competitive we are, the more self-centred we become. Competition emphasizes our goals and enhances our skills often to the detriment of our significant relationships. The opposite of competition is compassion. Compassion is the skill or ability to accurately experience the thoughts and feeling of another plus the desire to do whatever is necessary to help another in their time of distress. Many relationships would greatly benefit if there was simply more compassion between spouses.
3. Complaints definitely lead to the deterioration of a relationship. The complaints may be true, but one must ask, “Are the complaints kind and necessary?” Listening to problems demoralizes us; where, talking about and applying solutions energizes us.

So what are those ounces of prevention we can apply to our relationships to ensure they remain stable and satisfying?

1. Learn to negotiate.
2. Be compassionate and listen to the thoughts and feelings of your loved ones.
3. Rather than complain, become a problem-solver.

The steps are continued from How to steal a Girl from a relationship!

Stage I - Friendship

Obviously the bond between the two would be stronger than between you and her. So, her boyfriend can crush you anytime. 

Point- stay low profile

It all depends upon the image you keep

If your image is of a smart guy:

- A smart girl may not even mention about your existence to her boyfriend, and discuss with you pivotal stuff about her life and relationship. But in this case, the assumption is that her boyfriend is very dumb and you are very smart/ smarter than him. 

- But if she is dumb/ or her boyfriend is very smart; she will talk to him about you, and tell him everything as she is very loyal and discusses everything about the people she meets/ talks to. And in this conversation, if by mistake, you come out too strong, it will create a certain air of discomfort for her boyfriend about you. So that is our first problem. 

Always remember: Step I is a gradual process. 

Optional: You can keep a guy who is creating problems for her on the focus of her boyfriend. This way you maintain a goodwill in the eyes of her boyfriend, and totally change his focus too. Don't try to be a hero, keep away from all the troubles. 

Step II - Be her best friend. 

A guy never sees it, but the way to a girl's heart, the shortest way, is by telling/ showing/assuring her that you will never hit on her. And the sole cause you are talking to her is because she is the only person you have ever met in your life with such a pure heart (make her feel special by using the most overrated lines, yes she will buy them). 

Now if you'll observe from a distance the hottest chicks are always surrounded by a company of same looking, constantly blabbing, pompous women, giving out the effect that it is impossible to be friends with her. But all of them - kept individually - are the loneliest creatures, and that is the reason why they keep for falling for guys. 

step III - Build a story

Why don't you want to hit on her? 

Don't just leave it to 'Because I am a good guy'. Saying 'I am in  a relationship is safe', and later on you can break it off, and hit on her. But what's the best way to get her sympathy? 

A great emotional story; not like you belong to a vampire clan or something, but yeah movie type.  What guys generally have to offer is:

- I broke up and it was really tough on me. 

- We had been together for ___ months/ years, and she left me. 

Now, this is what she sees and hears tens times a day. It won't get you any real sympathy. Unless your story is something like:

- I left home at 15, because I wanted to do something on my own. I came to New York City with nothing in my hand but my violin. The first three years were the hardest, and back home I lost my Brother in Iraq, who was also my best friend. I have been alone since. 

- I loved her more than my life, (build the cutest story about how you met), and on my wedding, when she was on her way to the Church/ Venue/ whatever; she met with a Car accident and passed away. 

Why do you build a story? 

The story gets her strongly and emotionally attached to you that she'd even fight with her boyfriend but would never let you go. 

Step IV - Whatever you are doing, You are doing great. 

Don't for even a second get that you are a loser from the story above. Even though you are emotionally hungry, you are doing great in life. Why? 

Because a woman can never relate emotions with financial standards. Why? I have no clue. Let's say they are bad in mathematics. So don't ever show that you are unsuccessful/ living in someone else's couch, if you are, show her a very diplomatic reason for it. 

Step V - Check where you stand
Now you from here you have to understand by this time, some problems would naturally emerge in the mind of her boyfriend. But if you have come this far, you are very close to victory. How to check where she places you: 
- Call her in the night or anytime she is talking to her boyfriend on the phone, see if she picks your call over him or not. 
- Does she hang out with you more than what is normal? 
- Does she share with you everything that is going in the relationship? 
If the answer is negative, then improvise. You have to have the level of amusement she is demanding that will help you precede her boyfriend. Note: Do your homework. Don't try coming out all random and spontaneous, even the greatest players do their homework. 


Step VI - It is Cool. 
In this step, you start challenging the restrictions placed by her boyfriend. You don't openly say anything, for example: 
- If she says that her boyfriend is very liberal and lets her do anything she wants. 
You say: Do you know what that means? It means either he is not serious for you or he is seeing other girls at the same time, both ways - he is not serious for you. Just imagine male psyche for a second, do you think a guy who loves a girl like insanely, won't impose his possession or set limits? 
When you do that, although she may shout to prove that this isn't true, she would get confused. 
- If she says that her boyfriend doesn't allow her to do ______ (put anything), you simply give the most biggest expression of surprise and frown. 
You say: If he loves you truly, he'd accept you as you are, and if there was anything in you that had to be changed or compromised, then why don't I just call you his robot? 
Work both the ways, but put in her mutiny day by day. Don't be extreme because you don't want her to be mentioning your name in between of a fight with her boyfriend. 


Step VII - Ask her the question / Confuse her. 
Now is the time to ask her the big question - 
Do you really love him? Don't just say yes, remember the times you have been in love strongly and how it all ended one day, so clearly differentiate between love and final love, and then say - Do you think this guy is the guy of your life? 
Don't be bothered what the answer she gives. It doesn't matter. 
Give the answer yourself - "I don't think so. I know more than you know about yourself, and although you might claim this isn't true, it is. 
Start picking out the problems she has with him - "what about smoking/ what about not understanding you/ what's with his anger, god knows he might even hit you someday/ what's with him talking to girls is fine, and you talking guys is a crime/ ____ (fill yours). "
Ask her questions like - Tell me something, if you hadn't ever met him but met me instead, would you have fallen for me? And answer this logically. (act as if it's an intellectual question)

Next

Me gonna steal ur girlfriend

How to woo a committed Girl!

There are a few things you have to understand and do:
- You have occupy a position of a good friend. But that is not easy with his boyfriend constantly knowing about your every step. So to engage her boyfriend, you have to find somebody as bait or a story that would make some other guy a target for him.



Reason: If you do this, his focus won’t be you, but some other guy.
- When you do this, you have to make her forget that you loved her or have feelings for her. Be a diplomat, nothing is even achieved by being righteous except the respect of other people who’d read about you 100 years later (I am going off topic). You have to occupy another space which is of her girlfriend. Yes, you have to be her girlfriend. Now, what is the most common thing in every couple? They fight! What is the most common thing about every man? He will make mistakes and upset her. You have to be there with her every time they fight because he has made a mistake.
- You are not her friend so you can patch them up, but what you have to always do is magnify his flaws- very slowly. You have a discussion, about everything she doesn’t like about him; you have more discussions about any insecurity in her mind.
Reason: By doing this you are not turning her against him, but making all these negative things so big, so that whenever they talk, all she does is notice them.
- When you are this close, her boyfriend will fight about your relationship which will indirectly change the status of both of you. It won’t be you or her, but he who will help both of you to be a couple. He will fight and tell her not to talk to you, but as she is so close to you now, she’d tell him that you are a good friend and he needs to trust her; they will engage into a fight during which all the things that you have spoken to her in detail (his flaws) will spill out of her mouth; yes, she is a woman, she won’t be able to control. And therefore, that would be the end of it- their relationship.